He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
