what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I need to calm my uterus...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
