The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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