i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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