I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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