So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
