i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
