Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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