I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
