four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
