i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
