# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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