which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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