I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
