Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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