I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
