She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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