just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
