sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize