i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
