I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
