My sheets look like a crime scene.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
