How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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