The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
