i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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