maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
