So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I want a musical about memes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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