Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
