just tell him i said nine months
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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