Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
