He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
