More tranny stories later!
she woke up with a sticky ear
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
