Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
