Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
