Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize