Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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