Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
