I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
