Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
