we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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