I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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