Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
