Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
