Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
