Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
