He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
