Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
