: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
