try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
