Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
