how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my poor anus
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
