OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
