Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
