Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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