He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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