haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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