I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
