So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
