I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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