Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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