you guys were way drunker than both of me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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