I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
