It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
