I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
