Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
