Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize