He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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