It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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