Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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