Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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