Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
