What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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