Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
