smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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