epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
