Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
