I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
